In our weekly series, readers can email in with any financial dilemma and enter the
Money Moral Maze
.
Are your friends racking up big drinks tabs and then trying to split the bill equally? Is your partner overspending on your joint account? No matter your dilemma, email in anonymously, and The i Paper’s money and business team will do our best to answer.
This week’s dilemma can be found below – email us at
[email protected]
with yours.
Dilemma
I’m 29 and I’ve just bought a
two-bedroom flat
in south-east London.
It’s the proudest achievement of my life – I scraped together every bit of savings, made use of my Lifetime ISA, and now I’ve got a mortgage bigger than any number I’ve ever seen before.
It’s a stretch,
even with a fixed rate
, so I planned to rent out the second bedroom to help with costs.
My best mate, who I’ve known since we were at university together, is moving back to London and needs somewhere to live. It seemed perfect. We’ve always got on, and he was excited when I mentioned the room.
But when I told him the rent, which is about market rate at £875 per month, he laughed and said, “What, no mates’ rates?” Then he repeated it a few more times. I’m not sure if he was joking.
The thing is, I really need that
money
– my margins are razor-thin. I already gave him first dibs – anyone on SpareRoom would pay what I’m asking without blinking.
I don’t want to fall out over it, but I also don’t want to end up short every month because I felt awkward. At the same time, I feel a bit cold-hearted treating him like a tenant when he’s a friend.
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Is it fair to expect full rent from a mate – or does friendship come with some financial obligation to go easy?
Emily Braeger, The i Paper’s money reporter, replies
This kind of dilemma sits awkwardly where money and emotion collide – and it’s a far more familiar situation than many people realise.
On one hand, you’re not running a charity, you’re managing a serious financial commitment, and you’ve been transparent from the start.
If the rate is what you need to stay afloat, then asking for it is not just fair – it’s necessary. Your friend isn’t entitled to a big discount just because you once shared hangovers and Spotify playlists.
But I completely get why you feel uneasy. When money enters a friendship, the dynamic sometimes shifts.
By inviting him in as a tenant paying market rate, you’re blurring the lines and without clear expectations, that overlap can easily lead to tension or misunderstandings, which I’m sure you don’t want.
My advice is don’t cave to “mates’ rates” unless you genuinely can afford to. If you give him a discount out of guilt, resentment can creep in from your side.
Instead, be upfront with him. Explain that your budget is tight and that the figure isn’t about profit – it’s about staying afloat.
If he’s a real friend, he’ll understand. If he keeps pushing, ask yourself whether living with someone who resents paying rent is worth the emotional cost.
Friendship and money can mix – but only if everyone’s honest about what’s really at stake.